It gets to a point in life when one could get jaded. I should be, by now.
After going through many relationships, dedicate all my heart and determination to see them fail, one after the other. And not them, but me. I am the one who left. Every single one. That's a realization that cuts deep inside.
So all my friends who are married are still married because when things went bad, they didn't leave? They worked it out, they fixed it, bandaids and therapy?
I feel like I did that too. At least in the last one, I did all, seriously all I could. It still broke, broke royally and horribly and painfully, not shattering me in pieces like when I got divorced, by piercing me through my very core and severing from me the most precious being rooted in my heart and soul: Rowen Estrela.
But all that is worked out now, the best I can. Meditation and prayer - God's power can.heal.anything.
It does hurt. But I don't bleed like an open wound anymore.
I honestly can say it's healed.
I have forgiven all. And when things get rehashed and I hate again, I choose to forgive again. It works. It's incredible but it works.
But I actually want to register how I met him.
I guess this is a good preamble because I actually believe it only happened because I had already finished navigating and healing from the horror of the last falling down the abyss. I was finished. And ready.
I was ready to look into someone's eyes and take the dive into their soul to become one.
And then it happened.
Of course it happened. All things you need will happen the moment you're ready. They are put in your path just at the right intersection.
